Impact wrestling begins this week with a video package recapping the feud between Bobby Roode and James Storm. We also see a short segment reviewing the recent deal between Hogan and Aces and Eights. The first person to the ring when Impact goes live is James Storm.
Match #1: James Storm versus Austin Aries.
The two men lock up and jockey for position for a while until Aries gets an armbar. Storm escapes and takes Aries down to the mat. Aries escapes and puts Storm in a headlock. Storm reverses it and puts Aries in a headlock and then armdrags him out to the floor. Aries re enters the ring and they lock up again. Aries puts Storm in another headlock. Aries hits Storm with a shoulder block and Storm responds with a forearm shot. Storm lands several punches but it then thrown out of the ring by Aries. Storm skins the cat and gets back up to the edge of the ring.
Aries knocks Storm back to the floor and then hits him with a suicide dive. Aries snaps Storm’s neck on the top rope and then re enters the ring. Aries applies a chin lock to Storm but Storm escapes with a jawbreaker. The two men exchange punches, chops, and kicks. Aries gets the upper hand and hits Storm in the back of the head with a dropkick. The two men exchange punches. Aries clotheslines Storm and then pummels him in the corner. Storm turns things around and starts pounding on Aries in the corner. Storm hits Aries with a side Russian leg sweep. Storm and Aries trade punches again.
Storm tries to hit Aries with the Eye of the Storm, but Aries escapes. Storm throws Aries out to the floor. Aries snaps Storm’s head down across the top rope as he re enters the ring. Aries climbs to the top to attempt a missile dropkick but Storm ducks out of the way. Storm goes after Aries but Aries cuts him off and tries to hit him with the brainbuster. Storm blocks the brainbuster and gets Aries in a waist lock. Aries arm drags Storm across the ring. The two men charge each other and bump heads; both men go down. The ref checks on Aries and Bobby Roode runs to the ring. Roode slams Storm into the steel post and then rolls him back into the ring. Aries hits Storm with the brain buster for the win.
In the back, Kurt Angle and AJ Styles are arguing. AJ thinks Angle is more focused on trying to get into the match with Aces and Eights than with their tag title shot on Sunday. Angle insists he’s focused on their match, but AJ is unconvinced and tells Angle not to come to the ring for AJ’s match with Hernandez.
When we return, Hulk Hogan and Sting are talking about the big showdown with Aces and Eights at Bound for Glory. Hogan says they needed to make a deal with the devil; the devil being Bully Ray. Tag champs Kaz and Daniels make their way to the ring. Daniels (also known as ‘the fallen angel’) tells Hogan he can solve his ‘devil’ problem with a pair of angels; Kaz and Daniels. Kaz calls Hogan “thunderlips” (after the character he played in Rocky 3 and says they need to do three things to deal with Aces and Eights: 1) cancel the tag title match this Sunday 2) tell Bully Ray thanks but no thanks, and 3) make Kurt Angle, the greatest wrestler ever, join Sting instead of Bully Ray.
Bully Ray comes out to interrupt Kaz and Daniels. Ray agrees that Kurt Angle is the greatest wrestler ever, but argues that this is no match, it’s a fight. Ray argues if you have a wrestling match, pick Kurt Angle as your partner; but if you have a fight, you pick a warrior, you pick Bully Ray. (I still say Bully Ray is in cahoots with Aces and Eights) Ray says he wants to earn Hogan’s trust and suggests a tag match for tonight to prove his loyalty: Bully Ray and Sting against the tag champs, Daniels and Kaz. Daniels and Kaz seem unhappy about it, but Hogan says it’s on.
Match #2: Hernandez, with Chavo Guerrero, versus AJ Styles, with no one.
Hernandez charges but AJ sidesteps him. AJ lands a couple kicks and Hernandez shoves him to the ground. AJ lands some more punches and kicks and then goes for a sunset flip. Hernandez blocks the flip and picks AJ up. AJ escapes and hits Hernandez with a kick to the head. AJ stops to argue with Chavo instead of pressing his advantage. Hernandez lands a punch and whips AJ hard into the corner. Hernandez beats AJ down and then puts him in a bearhug. AJ fights his way out and tries to hit Hernandez with a springboard maneuver, but Hernandez blocks it.
Hernandez hoists AJ up in the air but AJ escapes and hits Hernandez with a pair of dropkicks, knocking him to the floor. AJ hits Hernandez with a springboard crossbody and then rolls him back into the ring. AJ is once again letting himself get distracted by arguing with Chavo. AJ springboards into the ring but is flattened by a shoulder block from Hernandez. Hernandez covers AJ and gets the 3 count for the win.
After the match, Aces and Eights address Hogan. They compliment Hogan once again for his chess playing abilities, whatever the hell that means. As far as I can tell, they’re just referring to Hogan’s decision to lock the Impact Zone every week. I don’t see how locking doors constitutes chess strategy. I lock my door all the time and I’ve never had a burglar impotently wiggle my knob and say “well played sir!” and then walk away impressed with my brilliance. I want to play chess with these people; I would kick their asses so badly. They also tell us that Joe Park is still safe and sound. He looks like he’s gone crazy, but they think he’s adorable.
Zema Ion comes to the ring to tell us he’s not only f’in pretty, he’s pretty f’in dangerous. Zema claims to have already cleaned out the entire X division and brags about all the bones he’s broken and careers he’s ended. Zema says he has no match at Bound for Glory and then gets interrupted by RVD. RVD says he just talked to Hogan in the back, and Hogan said that since RVD has no match either, he can pick his opponent. Since RVD can pick anyone, he’s decided to pick Zema Ion. RVD then hits Zema with a jumping spin kick that sends him sprawling out of the ring.
In the back, Hogan is telling Bully Ray he doesn’t trust him. Sting defends Bully, and Bully says he won’t let him down. Commercial
Brooke Hogan and Taryn Terrell are talking about Tara. Brooke says Tara has her so frustrated that she’s “Tara-ing” her hair out. I love lame puns, but that was just a bit too lame even for me.
Match #3: Kaz and Daniels versus Bully Ray and Sting.
Daniels and Ray start the match off. Daniels lands a kick and puts Ray in a headlock. Bully gets free and knocks Daniels down with a shoulder block. Ray follows up with a clothesline and then several headbutts to Daniels chest. Ray hits Daniels with a couple big, loud chops and then tags in Sting. Sting lands a series of strikes and then a hip toss. Daniels lands a shoulder block and tags in Kaz. Sting lands a clothesline and tags in Ray. Sting and Ray double team Kaz and then Ray clotheslines him. Ray hits Kaz with a suplex and then a couple more loud chops. Ray tags in Sting and they double team Kaz again.
Ray hits Kaz with a suplex and then tags in Sting. Sting hits Kaz with a Stinger splash in the corner. Sting goes for another splash but Daniels pulls Kaz out of the way. Daniels then yanks Sting crotch first into the steel post. Kaz and Daniels put a beating on Sting on the floor outside the ring. Ray comes to Sting’s rescue with a steel chair. Daniels rolls Sting back into the ring and he and Kaz double team Sting some more. Daniels takes Sting down with a snapmare and tags in Kaz. Daniels hits Sting with a slingshot elbow drop; Kaz immediately follows up with a slingshot leg drop.
Kaz wraps Sting’s arms up behind his head. Sting escapes and lands a couple elbows. Kaz lands a kick and tags in Daniels. Daniels lands a punch and climbs to the top rope. Sting cuts Daniels off and throws him off the top rope. Daniels manages to hit Sting with a clothesline and both men are down. Sting tags in Bully and Daniels tags in Kaz. Ray hits Daniels with a backdrop and then hits Kaz with a backdrop. Ray props Daniels and Kaz up in the corner and hits them both with a big splash. Ray drops Kaz with a Samoan drop. Ray goes for a cover but Daniels comes in and makes the save.
All four men enter the ring and start brawling. They all end up outside the ring and then they all make their way back in, brawling all the way. Daniels tries to hit Sting with the tag title belts, but Ray saves him. Ray and Sting shake hands and then Sting yells “Bully! Get the tables!!” Ray looks a little confused at first, but then he gets a table. Sting knocks Kaz out of the ring and then grabs Daniels. Bully Ray goes to the top and Sting puts Daniels up there with him. Ray powerbombs Daniels off the top rope and through the table. Kaz and Daniels win by DQ, but I don’t think Sting and Ray care.
After the match, Austin Aries tells us that even though he is the champ, he wants what Hardy has: a Hall of Fame career, a Hall of Fame bank account, and millions of devoted fans all over the world. Hardy says he wants the world title to prove he is the best on the planet.
In the back, Samoa Joe is being interviewed when he’s interrupted by his former partner, Magnus. Magnus says he’s not afraid of Joe, and Joe replies that he’d like to fight Magnus now and not wait until Sunday. Magnus says he’s a businessman and will wait until the PPV. Joe asks if ‘businessman’ is what cowards are calling themselves now. Magnus says he’ll see Joe on Sunday.
Match #4: Gail Kim versus Miss Tessmacher.
Gail attacks Tessmacher before the bell outside the ring. After bell, Gail stays on the attack, hitting Tessmacher with kicks and a boot to the face in the corner. Gail runs into Tessmacher in the corner and follows up with a punch. Tessmacher takes Gail down with a headscissors takeover and then shakes her ass with gusto, almost violently. The ass shaking was to set up the stink face, but apparently Gail had the ass-to-face move scouted because she got out of the way. Gail snaps Tessmacher’s head on the top rope and follows up with a kick to the head. Gail drops Tessmacher with a body slam and then a couple knee strikes.
Gail lands a clothesline and goes for a cover, getting a 2 count. Gail hits Tessmacher with a backbreaker and a diving shoulder block in the corner. Miss Tessmacher catapults Gail into the corner and lands a series of strikes. Tessmacher hits Gail with a modified side Russian leg sweep. Miss Tessmacher goes to the top rope and Gail cuts her off and hits her with a sit out powerbomb. Gail goes to the top rope but Tessmacher cuts her off and hits her with a belly to back facebuster for the win. After the match, Gail attacks Tessmacher again, but Tessmacher hits her with another belly to back facebuster.
In the back, James Storm angrily confronts Bobby Roode. They start to brawl and it’s broken up by King Mo. Commercial
Match #5: Bobby Roode versus Jeff Hardy.
Roode attacks Hardy before the bell. Roode rolls Hardy into the ring and continues the attack when the bell rings. Jeff Hardy finally manages to start fighting back and lands several punches and a forearm. Hardy hits Roode with a double leg drop and a dropkick. Roode pushes Hardy to the corner and they exchange strikes. Hardy takes Roode over with a backdrop and then clotheslines him to the floor. Roode pulls Hardy out to the floor and Hardy knocks him into the steel guard rail. Hardy hits Roode with a slingshot crossbody and then slams him into the guard rail again. Hardy rolls Roode into the ring and Roode begs him off. Hardy lands a series of punches and Roode replies with a clothesline. Roode stomps on Hardy, drops an elbow, and steps on Hardy’s throat. Roode whips Hardy to the floor and tries for a suplex, but Hardy reverses it and suplexes Roode instead.
When we return, Roode is wrenching Hardy’s head and neck. Hardy fights his way out but Roode knocks him back down with a back elbow. Roode goes to the second rope and hits Hardy with a blockbuster. Hardy rolls out to the floor and Roode pursues. Roode slams Hardy’s face into the steel steps and then rolls him back in. Roode hits a neckbreaker, Hardy responds with a punch. Roode gets Hardy in a sleeper hold and holds it for a LONG time. Hardy finally frees himself by running into the corner and launching Roode into the steel post. Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind and both men are down.
Hardy lands several punches and kicks. Roode goes down and Hardy hits him with a big splash for a 2 count. Roode hits Hardy with a spinebuster and gets a two count. Roode puts Hardy on the top rope and tries a superplex but Hardy pushes him off. Hardy goes for the Swanton bomb but Roode rolls out of the way. Roode spears Hardy and gets a two count. Roode tries a suplex but Hardy reverses it and hits the Twist of Fate. Roode is in trouble and hits Hardy in the nuts, resulting in a DQ victory for Hardy. Roode gets a chair to attack Hardy after the match, but the referee takes it from him. Hardy hits Roode with another Twist of Fate and Roode rolls to the floor.
After the match, Austin Aries makes his way to the ring to confront Hardy. Aries has a sheet of paper that apparently says things TNA management wants him to say. Aries says this paper is a piece of crap. Aries is sick of being told what to do or how to act, and he’s also sick of hearing people say he’s jealous of Jeff Hardy. Aries says he’s not jealous of Hardy’s rap sheet or of the fact that Hardy is too crippled to play with his little girl. Aries says he IS jealous of the special treatment Hardy gets. Aries says the company should start catering to him instead of Jeff Hardy.
Aries claims to be set up for failure by this company, but at BFG, Hardy will be the real failure. Hardy seems to be in pain, and complains about his nuts and his neck. Hardy also promises to end Aries’ title reign at BFG. Aries tells Hardy that since he’s the champion, Hardy is standing in his ring. Aries tells Hardy he’ll give him a minute to bask in the adulation of his fans before leaving the ring. Hardy poses for the crowd and starts to walk away. Aries tells us it’s now his turn to bask in the glory but attacks Hardy when Hardy’s back is turned. Aries gets Hardy up in the air and nails him with a brainbuster. Aries stands over the fallen Hardy as Impact goes off the air.
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